Was lost now found…

A few months before Christmas (just gone) I became very lazy. With the season of goodwill…and chocolate and alcohol approaching I sacked off the gym and thought ‘f**k it’ it’s time to relax and enjoy myself. Well it’s April now and I have managed to put on a stone in weight…crap.

I have struggled to get myself back to the gym and despite the fact my clothes have felt a lot more snug recently, I have been reluctant to even do a quick gym session to work off any indulgences.

So here goes…my fiancé and I suffered a personal loss which I don’t want to write too much in detail about as it is still quite raw, but we are both strong and even stronger as a couple. Nothing could have prevented what happened no matter how many answers we try to find. We are both trying to think positively and focus on what is to come. We went away for a few days to get out of the flat to re focus and I was ordered to rest, which I did by having a fantastic Hot Lava Shell massage and some amazing food in the Lake District.

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Since coming back home it’s been a bit of eye opener as to how much my body has changed since last year. I know how much weight I have put on and my problem areas that I need to work on. I am now determined to get back to how I was and feel happier in myself which I think will help me move on mentally.

I have been researching a lot of meal ideas for my fiancé and I (as he wants to get fit too) and have started back on the Protein World program which I did really well on…so bring it on!

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Protein world love…

  

A week ago today I started Protein World’s Slender Blend program. This whole new way of approaching nutrition and food was something completely new to me up until the middle of last year, when I started to really focus on feeding my body to fuel my running.

   

I had been following Protein World on Twitter for some time and my sister in law had given it good reviews so I purchased my own little yellow box of goodies. 

So after a week I have managed to have 2 protein shakes a day, one for my breakfast and one for my lunch. Then for my tea I have a roughly 500 calorie dinner, usually fish or chicken.

  
If I am at home I have a protein rich snack of maybe a couple of hard boiled eggs, or carrots and houmous. You can have green tea for your mid-morning snack but I’m not a massive fan of it. 

  
I have really enjoyed eating healthy and nutritious food and I have a constant supply of energy and motivation, which helps me at work. 

  

After a week I have lost roughly 5lbs and I am fast reaching my goal weight of 8 stone 5lbs…💪🏻

   
 

Currently reading…

  

Up until a few weeks ago I was completely hooked on sugar, and from one source in particular…fizzy drinks. For past few years I have drunk Cola or Pepsi everyday. As soon as I woke up (or for my breakfast at work) then one mid morning, dinner, afternoon and evening etc. 

One day I decided enough was enough. After what seemed a life time of bloating, tiredness and anxiety I went just about cold turkey on the fizzy drinks front. I had a constant caffeine withdrawal headache for about 4 days, but I somehow managed to refrain from grabbing one to perk me up at work on a morning and opted for flavoured waters instead (some flavoured waters contain a shocking amount of sugar so always read the labels).

I now feel as though a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer live my days wondering when my next sugar hit is coming and I opt for natural sugar sources like fruits which keep hungar at bay. 

I bought this book really as a source of information for healthy dinner and snack ideas, but it also has a great sections on busting your sugar belly and a great at home yoga sequence. 

My story…

First of all welcome to my page!

I have wrote several blogs over the years…mainly related to travel or food (two massive passions of mine) but up until recently I have really wanted to write about my fitness journey and my relationship with food. Throughout my teenage years and early 20’s I was quite…how can I describe it…cuddly. I was a size 14 on my bottom half and believe it or not, I was so self conscious about my thighs I stopped wearing jeans for nearly 4 years. I have always carried excess weight on my hips and my stomach, but I tried not to let it bother me. I look at photos now and apart from thinking ‘what the hell am I wearing?’ I also see what I didn’t hide very well. My clothes were always baggy and usually plain but I felt it wouldn’t draw attention to me and people wouldn’t notice.

When I moved in with my ex I felt some kind of need to change. I had already lost quite a bit of weight due to personal circumstances, but I felt this would be a good place to start from. I started running…a lot! I would run 2-3 times a week for roughly a mile and a half at a time. And after no time I began to look lean and fit. I felt fantastic. After a few weeks my purpose for wanting to lose weight was changing. My ex began to make me feel extremely self conscious. He would look at photos online of half naked women on a social media website, and I began to feel inadequate and not as good as them. So I was determine to get really fit so I would be the only one he would look at.  I suppose most women feel this way in their relationships, but without going in to too much detail it was the timing of when he would look and his pitiful excuses…

As I slimmed down to my lowest weight of 8 stone 5lbs he told me I was looking anorexic, and outwardly told me I had no breasts and he didn’t find me attractive. Scared of him leaving me I would stuff my face with sweet sugar infested desserts on my lunches at work, hoping desperately to put weight back on.

After several heart to hearts I found the courage to leave. I realised way before I left that I no longer loved him and his toxic mind control games. I knew it was the right decision because I couldn’t give a s**t and (it may sound strange) I ate very well over the next few weeks. I felt free! I went to some gym sessions with my dad’s partner who was a personal trainer and I wasn’t afraid to make something of myself.

I met Dan at work at my lowest weight but to him it doesn’t matter what I weigh. Which is just as well because after several months of eating out in restaurants and snacking…I no longer weighed 8 stone 5lbs. But to be fair we have both loved and not regretted anything. We spent a few nights in the Lakes and feasted on seafood pasta and steak with several glasses of wine every night. But until very recently we have both decided we want to change the way we eat and the way we look.

This blog is really a documentation of my journey to be fitter in 2015…and beyond…